A Strong and Independent Black Woman

There it is: 2014. What can I say? The highs were really high and the lows were too low. I've learned even more about what I want and what I don't want. This year was filled with lessons, lessons that needed to be taught and learned. Not because I didn't know certain things, but because I needed a reminder. A reminder of who I am and who I will always be, no matter what. That no matter how much a person may try, they can never tear me down. I am and always will be a "strong and independent black woman." This was a recurring theme throughout this hectic year.

I loved and let go. I quit certain jobs and began new ones. I experienced the most physical pain I had ever felt in my entire life (kidney stones are awesome...). I officially started writing my masters thesis. I visited Mackinac Island for the first time. I chopped off all of my hair. This year was filled with its "big" moments. All of them, even the not so good ones, all of them helped me further appreciate who I am as a person.

Next year will be another one filled with "big" moments, like my finally graduating with my masters and more importantly leaving WSU for good. I am not a crying person but when I walk across that stage (hopefully) in May, a tear may or may not be shed. I won't have another grad party, but I think a "I'm finally done with WSU!!!" get together shindig would be more than acceptable.

Next year also means that for the first time in my entire life, I will experience life as a non-student. I don't even know what that means or what that will entail, but I am also excited for that, even though (hopefully!) it will be short-lived. Next year also means applying to doctoral programs, all, with the exception of one, which will be out of state. I've never lived outside of the D or Mitten before. So the year after next, pending I get accepted AND full funding for a phd program in musicology, will be  scary and exciting all bundled together.

I learned this year that I am more than capable of getting through the bad stuff. At the time I did not think I could make it through all in one piece, but I managed to pull it together, keep calm and carry on. It let me know that I do indeed possess the strength to keep swimming and find the shore (funny analogy considering I can't really swim). I've come to appreciate even more my independence and ability to take care of myself, that I have and am still more than ok with going against the crashing waves (another water reference, ten points to me!). Even hearing and seeing all of the hatred happening around the country, reading comments about how African Americans are animals, how we all deserve to be locked up, I love my sweet caramel honey skin color and wouldn't change it for the world.

This year was very enlightening in terms of who people truly are both inside and out.

And no matter what, I will continue being a strong and independent black woman who will graduate in 2015 with short hair and a Masters degree in musicology.

2015: BRING. IT.

Road Rage

Ok. So, I've been wanting to write about this for a little while now. Especially since I got a new job a few months ago that has forced me to drive. Every day. Monday through Friday. Rinse and repeat. And if you can't tell by the tone of my writing (or the title of this post), I am going to spell out the subject of this post for you: I - H-A-T-E - D-R-I-V-I-N-G. Yep, that's right. Finding myself (still) stuck in the 21st century and with such an unknown and unfound (until recently) passion, I despise driving.

Why, might you ask? Why do I hate driving? It's a part of life, everybody does it, everybody loves it (or pretends to love it, I think personally). Well, I will tell you my tale of woe (not really a tale, more like rant).

For the longest time, up until mid-June, I was a pedestrian. A happy pedestrian. One who could get from Point A to Point B with my legs, feet, and iPod with no trouble. I only got my license less than three years ago (and I will say that I wanted to get it sooner but that was out of my control) and have had a car for less than two years (which I am forever grateful for and would rather have it than not have it). But I hate that I am absolutely reliant on it.

Before (and still actually), to get to work, all I had to do was leave my apartment and walk a few blocks (5-15 minutes, depending on which job I was going to) and that would be it. I like doing that because it's both exercise and free. It doesn't cost money to walk from one place to another. I don't have to remember to get gas so that I can go to work. In fact the whole idea of having to buy gas to go to work seems silly to me. Not the "it costs money" aspect of it, but the "why is it necessary" aspect of it.

A century ago, this was a non-issue. That will always be my frame of reference. Like cell phones, a century ago, they were a non-issue. So if I don't answer it immediately why is it such a problem?

I should also clarify by saying that I don't think the idea of cars are stupid. However, I do find it unbelievably annoying that they have become almost a "necessity" in order to survive. That is what bothers me most of all. That and the fact that I have realized that people really struggle behind the wheel and my ability to accept their level of incompetence does not exist. I didn't think I could find people any more idiotic, until I had to start driving to my new job every day.

On the flip side, it is convenient to have a car when you are doing things like grocery shopping. That I will not deny is definitely a plus. Which is why I am thankful that I finally have my tiny car.

This is the main reason why I hope that wherever I end up moving to next (to work on my doctoral degree *fingers crossed*) is a walkable city (safely walkable, I should add) with an excellent public transportation system. Where I can also safely leave my car behind. And use occasionally. And not everyday.

Also, now that I'm having to drive everyday, I feel less and less like an environmentalist and that too really bugs me. I feel like every time I turn the key to bring my car to life, I'm contributing to an already heavily polluted environment. Not cool, not cool.

A bike will be on the good ol' Xmas list this year. I think that's a mode of transportation I can definitely roll with.

Back to the Future

It's been a little over a year since my last post...oops! Though I must say that this past year has been unbelievably hectic with many ups and downs. The good was really, really good, and the bad was...well we won't talk about the really bad stuff.

I've officially got one more year left of grad school here at WSU. I've just started writing my masters thesis a few weeks ago. As of today, I have written 10 pages! Yaaaaay!!! Except I will probably need to write about 100 or so pages more... *wallows*

I should mention that I've almost got an official list of doctoral programs that I wish to apply for, including musicology programs at Harvard, Yale, and Boston University....just got a little nauseous from the anxiety (and excitement!) of thinking about it. I never thought in a million years that I would even consider applying to schools such as these. I think if I showed this post to the 18 year old version of myself, she would laugh and think it was a joke, a cruel, cruel joke. However, she would have no problem believing the time traveling part. Good ol' me. But I do believe that these programs will help me on my journey to attain more knowledge. As I said earlier, I really do enjoy learning about new things and particularly discovering things of old and I believe that these programs understand that constant desire to seek knowledge and understanding quite well.

I have decided that I will (and desperately need) to take a year off between my masters and doctoral studies. Though I enjoy school and learning (yeah, I'm weird, and over it), I need to give my brain a break to recuperate from the onslaught that has been my masters program in musicology. I want to make sure that I am mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared for doctoral studies when I apply. And I've never taken a year off, let alone a semester. So there's that.

I'm hoping that during my "time off" that, soon after I graduate, I will actually take a real vacation, like, leave-the-state-for-an-extended-period-of-time-and-get-away-from-it-all vacation. And I've decided after much debate (ha, who am I kidding? There was no debate) that I want to go to Florida to...THE WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER! Maybe I'm a little too old, but I don't care. I want butter beer(!), amongst other things. Harry Potter was one of my first and still one of my main literary loves. And if I've got time off, that'll be the first place to go. Though someday I do hope I eventually get to London and other parts of Europe. But for now, I'd be more than content with visiting the Harry Potter theme park.

I'm also hoping to possibly delve into the world of publishing with my time away from school. It's something that I don't know much about but at the same time it looks like an interesting career path However, I wouldn't do publishing instead of musicology. I think I would like to do both if it turns out I like publishing. I'm hoping to find a publishing company to do an internship with to see what it actually involves.

We shall see what the future holds. Only time will tell.

P.S. The photo/picture I chose for this post is from Harvard U. but reminds me of Hogwarts a bit, effectively killing two birds with one stone.