Again I must write: so much has changed. So so much. I did not think it would be possible to pry them any wider, but my eyes have opened up to so much more.
I did not end up going to Disney World and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter after I graduated in May. In fact, everything that I had planned out for this year blew up in complete shambles. Full of unexpected turns and obstacles.
I did have a plan. Such a solid plan. So I thought.
Original plan: finish my Master's thesis in March/April, defend said thesis in April, graduate in May, visit Harry Potter Land a week or two later, and begin my search for university adjunct faculty positions. And then also start my PhD applications. As of today, I did accomplish one of those things in order (started one of 8 or 9 applications).
What actually happened: "finished" writing my thesis in March/April, "graduated" in May, "defended" my thesis, had graduation pushed another semester to make severe edits to my thesis, spent a month in Paris (YES, PARIS), submitted my thesis, quit my job, officially finished my degree, have started PhD applications.
This year did not go as planned WHATSOEVER. But despite all of the downfalls, the many many many downfalls, I SPENT A WHOLE MONTH OF MY LIFE IN PARIS AND IT WAS THE BEST MONTH OF MY LIFE (even though I had a sinus infection the whole time). I did a study abroad course (Theory and Analysis of Contemporary Music) through the Eastman School of Music in collaboration with IRCAM's Manifeste Music Festival for the month of June. Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be able to and find myself participating in a study abroad program. There was one most unfortunate consequence to that decision (moving out of the beautiful solitude that was my one bedroom apartment) to have the experience of a lifetime.
I will try to keep my gushing to a bare minimum, but suffice to say, living in Paris for a month has helped me further realize my desire to live in a place where public transportation and the overall quality of life is much improved. I will always have a soft spot for the D, and maybe someday I will return and live here once again. But I need to further experience life outside the 3-1-3. I have decided that if I do not get accepted into any doctoral musicology programs that I will move to Boston, or perhaps Canada (especially with the political atmosphere as of late, *cough* presidential elections *cough*). Ever since I was little, I have always wanted to live in Canada. And maybe I will realize that dream. Maybe I will even end up somehow somewhere in the UK (another place I would like to live). Either way, in my cold, dark, and icy heart, I feel the urge to explore new waters. And living in Paris for that one month has not only given me the courage but also strengthened my desire and excitement to explore the world.
Maybe hidden inside of this is a message. The message to live life, do as you will. I get so buried in my work and planning that I forget to actually stop and enjoy life, to want more than just my degree. Which I am so so so happy and relieved to have finally achieved.
Balance, I need to find balance. And pursue my desires.
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